This morning Owen had his 15 month check up. His doctor had no concerns with his development and his measurements were as follows:
Head circumference: 49 cm (91th percentile)
Height: 23.75 in (89th percentile)
Weight: 24 lbs (40th percentile)
So we've got quite the big boy on our hands!
Following all the measuring and chit chat with his doctor were his shots. Sal and I have chosen to only give certain shots and to space them apart a bit more than usual. However I still have a very hard time watching my little one go through this procedure and I find it is only getting harder as he is getting older. To make things worse today he received three shots. We had only been allowing him to receive two shots at a time but the nurse today gave me the choice of either getting them all done today or returning for the single other shot another time. I chose to get them done all today as I thought in the end it would be less traumatic for Owen. However today was the first time I have actually seen him have a reaction to getting shots. He was extremely fussy, clingy and nursed more times than I can count on my two hands. I wasn't bothered by any of this as I understood why he was acting this way. What I did feel was guilt and uncertainty about making the right choice. I have days where I completely regret giving him any shots at all. But in the end I was too scared to not give him any of the shots. I just know I couldn't ever live with myself if he were to get ill or worse from an illness that could have been prevented. But neither could I live with myself if he were ever to get seriously ill form a reaction to a shot. It's such a hard decision, and I will never know if I made the right decision, all I can do is keep positive in knowing that I made an educated decision and that I did the best that I knew how.
So today my baby and I spent the day at home, snuggled together on the couch reading books with his favorite stuffed toys and his favorite doggie Bella. We baked chocolate chip cookies together and (gasp!) I even let him taste a bit of one fresh out of the oven. (That's just how awful I felt about the whole situation!) We napped together in bed and boy oh boy did he drink a lot of mama milk, hehe. All in all I think he will be just fine. Its been a hard long day on me and I'm sure on him as well. Mentally I am drained, I hope I have made the right choice and I'm not too sure if I will vaccinate the next child but then I feel that is not fair to Owen. So much to think about.
But to leave on a brighter note here's a cutie picture of my lil man eating at his little table for snack time today.
Oh, April, I know how you feel about the shots. Try not to agonize over it. Like you said, you are making an educated decision and that is A LOT more than most people. You are also so incredibly in tune with your little guy and so nurturing. You give him exactly what he needs when he's not feeling well. On another note, he looks so adorable at his little table. I can't wait to get one for Ewan, or to have a play date and have them sit at it together!
ReplyDeleteThanks Rebecca :) You are so sweet, your comment definitely made me feel better. I'd love to have you and Ewan over for a play date anytime! Let me know what days work best for you. Hopefully we see you tomorrow at Mothersong.
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